Nine Petals and a Still Center

Bluishmuse has a new look, and with it, a story.

I began Bluishmuse in 2013 as a way to explore myself. I was going through a tough phase in my life, trying to manage chronic pain and make sense of the world and everything that was happening to me. I felt like such a victim. I soon realized that playing the victim wasn’t going to work. Something else had to be behind what I was going through, and that is how I came to self-exploration.

Around the same time, I started doodling because it felt therapeutic. I cherished this practice, and it was turning out some very interesting patterns. I wanted to share them with the world, but I wasn’t ready to use my name publicly. So I came up with the name Bluishmuse. Neel, the first part of my name, means blue, and I chose muse because I wanted this practice to be an inspiration on my own journey. Over the years, the meaning of the name grew along with me. It is no longer about me. Today it stands for inspiration for anyone looking to grow from within.

Blue is the color of the sky and the ocean, spaces with no visible end. A muse is the quiet source of inspiration we turn to. Together, Bluishmuse is a reminder I need often: each of us holds limitless potential. We don’t have to find it outside ourselves. It is already within us, waiting to be recognized.

Bluishmuse grew one reflection, one quote, one artwork, and one book at a time, but the website didn’t grow with it. If you came looking for something, you had to dig for it. The site also didn’t feel the way I wanted it to. These reflections are meant to be read slowly, and the old design looked busy where it should have been calm.

So I redesigned the website, and the logo along with it. As I worked through it page by page, I kept asking one question: what is Bluishmuse really pointing to? The new logo is my answer.

The heart of the logo is a mandala with nine open petals. I chose nine deliberately, for two reasons.

First, nine represents the changeless. Multiply it by any number and the digits of the result always add back up to nine. However much it multiplies, nine never loses itself.

Second, the nine petals stand for the five senses, the mind, the intellect, memory, and the ego. In Vedānta, the teaching behind so much of what I share here, these are the instruments that make each of us an individual. The senses bring the world in, the mind feels and wavers, the intellect weighs and decides, memory holds on to every impression, and the ego gathers it all up and says “I” and “mine.”

At the center of the petals is a small circle: the changeless Self. Vedānta calls it the sākṣī, the witness, the awareness that knows the waking, dream and deep-sleep states without being touched by any of them. The senses change, thoughts change, and even our sense of who we are changes, but the witness does not. I am that, the one who witnesses the petals.

Yet the petals are not obstacles. We can’t know the changeless by escaping our senses, mind, intellect, memory and ego; we come to know it through them, with viveka, the discernment between what changes and what does not.

The two images in this post tell that story. In Falling Petals, the image at the top, the petals drift across the sky, scattered the way our senses, thoughts and moods scatter when the world pulls at them. In the logo, the same nine petals sit together in balance around the center. That is the balanced mind. Nothing has been removed: every petal is still there, but each one is turned toward the witness. As we grow through reflection, the scattered petals keep finding their way back.

A single ring encircles everything and completes the mandala, a symbol of the cosmos and its unity.

The logo has also become part of my own sādhanā. When I sit down for my morning art and reflection, I look at it and ask which petal has pulled me away today. It may be a restless sense, a worried mind, an intellect busy judging, a memory replaying the past, or an ego that wants to be right. Naming the petal is often enough to step back from it and remember the center that was watching all along.

On difficult days, it reminds me that what hurts belongs to the petals. The witness stays still, untouched by it, and that is where I try to return.

A practice to try

You can bring the nine petals into your own day. It takes about a minute, and you can do it anywhere.

1. Pause and take one slow breath.
2. Ask yourself which petal has pulled you away right now. Is it one of the five senses, drawn outward by what is around you? The mind, with its worries and moods? The intellect, busy judging or planning? Memory, replaying something that already happened? Or the ego, wanting to be right or to be seen?
3. Name it simply: “This is the mind worrying,” or “This is the ego wanting to be right.”
4. Notice who is doing the naming. Rest there for a few breaths before you go back to your day.

You don’t have to make the petal go away. Seeing it clearly is often enough to loosen its pull, and over time the center starts to feel more familiar.

Every reflection I share begins with a feeling, something I noticed, a quote that inspired me or a book I have been studying, and I hope it points a little further inward. That is what Bluishmuse is here for: to inspire healing and clarity as we move through life and grow, one step at a time.

A walk through the redesigned site

The new site is organized so you can find your way more easily.

• Reflections: short reflections, each complete on its own, now easier to browse.
• Quotes: hand-drawn quote images. Some will gain a reflection over time.
• Books: The Art of Now coloring books and the Reflections Along The Way series, all in one place.
• Podcast: Reflections Along The Way, for when you would rather listen.
• Start Here: if you are new, this is the place to begin.

If you’d like new reflections to come to you, you can subscribe by email right from the homepage.

If one of these reflections has ever reached you, thank you for being here. Take a slow walk through the new site, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.